Instead of spamming my twitter timeline, I’m just gonna collectively dump all my rage here because as much as I would like to yell and lash out, I always end up bottling things up.

I am so fucking pissed at my dad.

Pissed, disappointed, ashamed. Everything was just boiling inside of me while I tried to calm myself down with a shower earlier but who the fuck am I kidding? I just got even more pissed.

The fuck kind of dad gets high, physically hurts his own wife, and makes his daughter cry on her 12th birthday?

It probably pisses me off even more he’s actually done this before when I was younger. And my mom ended up having to call the cops to have him arrested the day before my birthday. I’m just so frustrated, I don’t want my sister to go through that too. I can’t even find the right words to describe how agitated I feel.

Before I was just fed up with it. Tired and didn’t want to deal with this shit anymore. But now I just want to scream. I just want to scream to let it all out cos fuck, it’s been building up so bad I can’t even hold it in anymore. I never get this angry people. I’ve never gotten so angry to the point of tears. I always tell myself not to cry but I can’t take it anymore. Not this time.

Just

fucking

goddammit

YOU HURT MY MOM YOU ASSHOLE AND THAT’S THE LAST FUCKING STRAW.

DO YOU KNOW HOW PISSED I GOT WALKING INTO MY SISTER’S ROOM AND SEEING HER CRY WHEN MY MOM TRIED HER BEST TO SMILE AND WISH HER HAPPY BIRTHDAY. I FUCKING HATE YOU. I DON’T WANT TO SEE YOUR FACE HERE EVER AGAIN.

Fucking shit.

But he left the house and took the car. I hope he doesn’t come back. My mom’s filing a report to the police today and then getting that restraining order tomorrow. If he comes back here my mom told us to call the police.

I just fucking can’t anymore goddammit. I hate it.